3 Excuses To Give Your Boss When You’re Hungover
Let’s be real for a moment: nobody who calls in sick is actually sick. They’ve either overslept and need an excuse to save face, or they’re so hungover that if they tried to do anything at work, something would inevitably physically explode (even if all you do is sit at a desk doing paperwork). So when you’re hungover, give your boss a call and try one of these these excuses.
Using Your Friends or Relatives
Let me start off by saying that killing off an endless stream of Uncles and Aunts to your boss is kind of wrong on so many levels, but people do it all the time. I, personally, wouldn’t use a fake death as an excuse to get out of work, but if you don’t have the moral fiber, to begin with then line up your relatives for the hypothetical firing squad. Depending on your boss, you could also use your friends “going through some stuff” to get out of work that day. Your friend might be going through a breakup that isn’t really that bad, but you need to make sure you overblow the situation to your boss that if you don’t take off work that exact moment, then things are going down. If your boss believes any of this, then you can reach for a bottle of water, take a Sunday Morning Hangover Hero kit, and pass right back out.
Using Your Pets
Again, using any kind of death is so wrong on so many levels, but if you have a cute and loveable pet that you’ve shared on Instagram or Facebook before then you could use them as an excuse to call out. Obviously, don’t hurt your pet to make them squeal, all you need to do is somehow make a squealing sound at the same time you’re talking to your boss on the phone. Pick up your phone and say, “Hey, my dog isn’t feeling well and I might need to take him to the vet,” before turning the phone away and doing your best impression of a dying parrot. Who could say no when it comes to taking care of fur babies.
A Catastrophic Incident At Your Home
You were cooking in the oven when all of a sudden it exploded in a giant fireball that blasted nearby windows. You were sleeping when an army of termites spontaneously ate your home’s support beams and it collapsed in a heap of rubble. You were “on the way to work your hardest when a mugger stopped you, took all your money, and told you that he’ll kill you and take the company’s best employee.”
Whatever the excuse is, the best thing to do if your boss somehow falls for it is to reach for your Sunday Morning Hero Kit while regretting the previous night’s decisions and letting the rehydration formula make you forget that hangovers exist in the first place.